The New Year & Why You Shouldn't Be Overwhelmed About Setting Resolutions

I’ve had some resistance writing this blog, not because I didn’t want to write but because I didn’t know what I wanted to say apart from:

Happy New Year!

This time of new beginnings, resolutions and intentions can be enormously helpful, focusing and a bit overwhelming. Or you might be yeah, whatever, because not everyone is infected with the New Year bug.

In the past I’ve written lists, stuck post-it-notes onto the wall, visualized and authored many manifestations either on New Year’s Eve or during the following week. 

Some years I’ve done nothing at all.

I still use the lists and manifestations, these methods work - I am proof of that but I am less, how can I say... angsty about the whole shebang. Less demanding that this, that or the other HAS to work out because then and only then will I be able to say, my life is great, I am fulfilled, I am a success. 

The pressure to do… anything… always… in truth…. makes me... angsty. It could be as simple as being asked to pick up kitchen roll on my way home or wait in for the plumber (actually no, that it‘s a much bigger deal) what I mean is even the tiny things cause a ripple of angst throughout my system, at a barely imperceptible minute level. But it’s there. I can feel it.

I’m no good at people telling me what to do or lecturing me on what works and what doesn’t - I’ll find my own way thank you very much was often my response. It took me a while to author my life and not regress into the stubborn child that says, “I’m not doing it because I’m not doing it.” I don’t have to say that this is a perfectly valid response and one that some will need to practice but I was born stubborn and resistant and I needed to learn to back off and learn acceptance. 

Once long ago during a therapy session my therapist introduced the notion of surrender.  

Surrender, I squawked, are you mad? 

I nearly fell off my chair.

Often we think the life we want to be living or things we want to do will make us happier, more fulfilled even if there’s a voice inside saying I don’t really want to do this it isn’t right for me. 

We tend towards changing what is out there, rather than, in here. 

But in here, is where the change happens and creates the better, out there.

This year I do have a couple of resolutions that I intend to practice for no other reasons than I know they need tending and I want to.